I H C

When you have Intellectually Handicaped Brother.

Its amazing the nightmare your family may become.

Then when school finds out.

Yet another nightmare.

Then you start college.

You have scored so hi in the entrance exam.

The teachers the result was so good the teachers the result was meaning less.

Even though I was getting mainly Bs The teachers demanded what’s the problem.

I should have said I don’t have a problem, but my parents have heaps of them.

At that age you don’t see the world like that.

So, I started to look for what was wrong with me.

Within a year I was thinking of suicide.

Thanks to all the clowns.

 

Irrelevant

It’s good to know about your past.

It makes it easy to.

Prove it totally irrelevant.

Be who you decide to be.

Not who the past tells you to be.

According to the CIA.

May past tells me I will be serial killer.

What a joke.

They really got that so wrong.

 

Future

With every decision, we make.
We make the future.
Which so quickly slips into the past.
With every decision, we make.
We form the fabric of time.
The memories for the past our hopes form the future.

Problems

Well everyone asks what’s the problem?

But that’s another problem.

There is the list of problems my parents gave me.

Then the problems the psychopath gave me.

I’m bit smart so everyone wants me to have their problems.

 Now I have learnt about suicide prevention I had some success and some failures.

Luckily, I have learned a new way to look at the world.

I still have the problems.

Now they make me strong and happy.

 

Names

I was once in a computer store.

Buying parts when a man was asked what his name was .

He’d had kitten after his name had been on tv etc.

About so many horrendous things.

Then there was my x here middle name was such a problem.

Gay it used to good.

She did have other problems with her bank manger dad.

What I know of her death I’m sure she took her own life.

Then there is my name such a problem.

There is even a serial killer in the USA whose names are the same as mine.

Well that’s so nice isn’t  it.

It’s so nice to have name that is famous!

My legal name is shorted version of another name.

I have had so many problems with people modifying my name.

Anyone who calls me anything other than my real name nearly dies.

 

The Problem

I have a problem.
That must be solved.
For years they have told me so.
Because of this I have a problem.
Because of that I have a problem.
So they tell me.
They do.
But now I see I had one and only one problem.
That is that I listened to them.

Every doctor

Doctors Who meet my parents the doctors let me know that’s the problem.

Well yes sort of.

I have other bigger more present problems.

They will be on the News for six months.

The government held a commission of inquiry.

What it had done to me was never considered.

That was then this is now.

I still have problems.

I now see how silly they were.

I now laugh at my silly problems.

A lot of people just don’t understand.

But that’s their problem.

 

It Matters

It matters, doesn't it?
Of course, it matters.
If you think it's important.
It matters.
But the big joke is that if you think it not important it isn't
And it doesn't matter and it never has.

Struth the Truth

When the truth is so strange no one will believe.

But everyone wants to know.

Tell them the truth and a padded cell waits for you.

A future of living the unbelieved fool.

Tell them a lie and then try to keep it alive forever.

Ever waiting for your story to break.

And deny yourself the right to the truth.

Tell them nothing and hope the truth will come out somewhere.

Then it will be even harder to claim your part.

You can keep the strange my life doesn't need it.

You can keep the strange my past doesn't need it.

You can keep the strange my future doesn't need it.

You can keep the strange I don't need it.

Oh for the plain and simple.

TV

Watching a documentary on tv.
They talk about some horrendous criminal.
Then they talk about his childhood as if that explains something.
Here we go again they are talking about my childhood again.
What are they saying about my future.
Nothing worth mentioning.
I decided not to be a criminal years ago.

 

Psychiatrists

Well this is an interesting game.

Once Psychiatrists know why they are treating me.

I have got them in the trap not that I want to.

I want their help.

But they realize something they did made me be here.

Any question may result may lead to exposing their incompetence.

Also, they would find out about all the people they put at risk.

Just because they wanted to teach the government a lesson.

So full off their own importance. Such dreamers.

 

Choices

Some things are worth remembering.
Some of these are worth understanding.
But many are not.

The only important thing about the past is how it affects you today.

You are not what the past has made.
You are what you have chosen to be.
The past only limits your choices.

Safer Communities

When a nice policewoman turns up at my door.
Telling me to turn off all my lights and make no noise
There is prowler in the area.
 I nearly freaked out at 2am.

How dose sitting in the dark make me safe.

 It was scary. The Police and a prowler to.

When your alone its hard to feel safe any way.

Safer Communities for who criminals maybe.

 

Memory loss

The memory loss was so good.

I could build a new me with the help of some really good people.

But when I remembered so many clowns.

Treating me as if I had covid19.

Maybe I should have not have Stopped the terrorist.

The clowns didn’t deserve it.

Senseless

Some things are worth remembering.
Some of these are worth understanding.
But many are not.

The only important thing about the past is how it affects you today.
I have wasted too much of my life trying to make sense of the senseless acts of others.

The Key

With this key you will find wisdom and power.
Find the door that it opens.
They Tell Me.
Live your life and find door after door.
But none open with the key.
Will you ever find the door?
Then you find the door.
You open it what will you find what sets you free.
You find nothing.
You feel lost and disappointed.
Then you see the journey.
A journey of discovery!

My Life

I have had a life.
I have been places you would not want to go.
I have seen things you would not wish to see.
I have experienced things you will not.
I have had a life.
You will never understand my sadness, my joy, my life, strengths and weakness.
My different point of view.
A wisdom you cannot explain.
Able to hurt but strong enough not to.

My Past

The murder.
The child abuses.
The alcoholic father.
The German Jewish mother.
Being 125plus
How can my past ever be OK?

But that’s OK…...

I’m OK because that’s what I have decided to be………….

Recomended reading - I'm OK – You're OK by Thomas Anthony Harris

The Quiet Mind

The crisis is over.
The sirens have stopped.
After the panic and fear,
The peace of a quiet mind,
A wealth most won't understand.

5%

I’m very carful about who I let know about my past.

To many time clown have found out about my life and things have got so difficult.

One time i found myself looking down the barrel of a shoot gun.

I should have gone to the Police but didn't feel like wasting my time again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chasing Dragons are they real?? You Decide!!

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